The cost of Motherhood

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I’ve been a mum for just over a year now, and whilst that sounds like a long time, I can’t see a time when I don’t feel like a ‘new mum’. I guess seeing all the milestones for the first times mean that I will feel ‘new’ for quite some time to come!
I wanted to share a few thoughts I have had over the last year, the good, the bad and everything in between.

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The cost of motherhood.
Being handed a beautiful tiny little bean, “You got this mum!”.
Here’s your dignity in a plastic bag, along with your dirty clothes and bucket of mum guilt – you’re going to need it!

The cost of motherhood is reading all about the fourth trimester, but not being prepared at all.
It’s living in the 3 hour feeding increments, constant cuddles and not knowing what you’re doing.
It’s trying to nap when baby naps, but you can’t stop checking he is still breathing.
It’s trying to get housework or chores done whilst baby naps, with very little energy.

The cost of motherhood is cuddling your baby for every nap, even though you ‘are spoiling them’.
It’s following your natural urge to be close to your baby, feeling you are doing it wrong because of peoples ‘advice’.
The cost of motherhood is being told your baby will still be breastfeeding at 9 years if you don’t stop at 6 months.
It’s being told you will have a teenager in your bed if you co-sleep.
It’s being told anything your baby does is not ‘normal’.

The cost of motherhood.
When you are a year in and still have times when you can’t shower for days.
It’s not being able to be out of view in the evening or the screaming starts.
It’s never having a break or a moment to yourself, wanting to get a little of ‘you’ back and failing.
Your body and mind still does not belong to you.

The cost of motherhood.
When you wonder why you made this decision.
When you want to just disappear or run away.
When you just need some help.

The cost of motherhood is the little smiles, the hand holding, the resting of their little heads against your shoulder whilst you hold them.
It’s the random cuddles in the middle of playing with toys.
It’s the milestones they hit, full of excitement.
The determination as they learn to crawl or walk.

The cost of motherhood is them growing before your eyes, quicker than you wanted.
They roll, eat, walk and talk.
They sit on your lap and cuddle for a book.
They giggle at your silly faces and voices.

The cost of motherhood.
It’s looking at baby and feeling your heart swell.
It’s knowing you would do it all over again.

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